L_M_A_O!!

AJESH—THE OIL MAN FROM DUBAI. BASICALLY A MALLU WHO FORGOT TO BRING HIS LUNGI TO INDIA AND SO WEARS A JEANS & OTHER NORMAL (ABNORMAL FOR HIM) CLOTHES. DOESN’T KNOW A SHIT OF HINDI AND SO CALLS EVERYONE, EVEN GIRLS “DUDE!!” IS TRYING TO LEARN PUNJABI BUT…WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A MALLU TRIES TO LEARN PUNJABI!

ME—PEOPLE CALL ME THE UNDISPUTED KING OF PJ’s. AN EXPERT MANIPULATOR WHO CAN TURN ANY NORMAL LOOKING SENTENCE INTO SOMETHING GROSSLY OBNOXIOUS. HEY, I ONLY TRY TO APPLY LOGIC TO OTHER PEOPLE’S SENTENCES AND OPINIONS! NEVERTHELESS PEOPLE STANDING NEAR ME SOON START BANGING THEIR HEADS ON THE DESKS AND START PULLING THEIR HAIR OUT. I GUESS THEY DON’T HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO BANG 😉

ANISH—THE PUNJAB da PUTTER. THE OYE HOYE MAN WITH THE LOOKS OF HAN-COCK. IS CRAZY ABOUT HONEY SINGH AND HIS HAIR? SOMEHOW HE ALWAYS SEEMS TO AGREE WITH BOTH ME AND AJESH, WHICH IS PRACTICALLY NOT POSSIBLE BECAUSE ‘MY FRIEND’ AJESH AND I NEVER AGREE WITH EACH OTHER. AFTERALL HOW CAN I? HE’S ‘A MY FRIEND’ YOU SEE!

 

THE TOPIC OF INTENSE DISCUSSION WAS WHETHER WE SHOULD ATTEND THE AFTERNOON MATHS CLASS OR GO BACK TO OUR ROOMS AND TAKE THE MUCH SOUGHT-AFTER NAP. SINCE WE HAVE A 75% GAG IN OUR ABSENCES LIMIT, FAILING WHICH WE SHALL HAVE TO SIT THE ENTIRE SUMMER HOLIDAYS IN THE SAME SUBJECT AGAIN, THE ISSUE WAS FAR MORE IMPORTANT THAN RISING OIL PRICES OR WORLD PEACE! ANYWAYS, THE ISSUE DRAGGED ON & WAS GOING NOWHERE. WE WERE JUST DEBATING AND COUNTER-DEBATING IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I AT ONCE CAME TO THE RESCUE AND APPLIED MY FAMED LOGIC POWER.

 

ANISH—ARREY SHE’S A FEMALE TEACHER YAAR! DON’T WORRY SHE WON’T OBJECT AND WILL EXCUSE US! AT LEAST SHE’S NOT LIKE THAT ARROGANT PROF OF THE ‘ROYAL’ DEPT.

AJESH—CHUTIYE! DUDE ‘I AM THE CR’ AND I BET SHE WILL BE THE FIRST ONE TO DETAIN US IN CASE SUCH A SCENARIO ARISES. ‘I AM THE CR’ ‘I AM THE CR’ ‘I AM THE CR’ ‘I AM THE CR’… SAYS IT FOR A COUPLE OF MORE TIMES… SHE IS VERY STRICT DUDE!

ANISH—OH! YOU MIGHT BE RIGHT…NOW WHAT DO WE DO?

ME (I HAVE TO DISAGREE WITH AJESH, SO I APPLY MY LOGIC)—DON’T WORRY YAAR! YUP ANISH, AFTER ALL SHE’S A FEMALE TEACHER. A FEMALE! SO SHE MUST BE HAVING ‘MA KI MAMTA’ AND SINCE WE ARE LITTLE KIDS SHE WILL FORGIVE US. CHILL MAADI!

ANISH—OYE SAHI BOL RAHA HAIN BHAI…

AJESH (HE DOESN’T KNOW A SHIT OF HINDI, AND SO DOESN’T KNOW WHAT IN HELL DOES ‘MAMTA’ MEANS. BUT HE WILL HAVE TO CONTRADICT ME, AND SO BLURTS OUT THE BEST POSSIBLE SYNONYM (?!!) FOR ‘MAMTA’)—DUDE! I DON’T CARE IF SHE HAS MAMTA OR BOOBIES OR NEITHER OF THEM! I AM GOING TO THE CLASS AND THAT’S FINAL…

ANISH—OYE…BOL NITHARI, KYA KAREGA AB…

ME—WTF! DID YOU JUST SAY MAMTA OR BOOBIES?!! <I FALL TO THE GROUND LAUGHING>

ANISH—OYE! <FALLS TO THE GROUND LAUGHING>

AJESH (REALISING THAT HE HAS FUCKED UP SOMETHING, AGAIN, BUT STILL DOESN’T GET WHY THE HELL WE ARE LAUGHING)—DUDE!!

 

 

NOTE—

  • CHILL MAADI—MAADI IS IN KANNADA, BUT YOU HAVE TO BE IN MANIPAL TO UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF CHILL MAADI!
  • NITHARI—ONE OF MY MANY NAMES, OBVIOUSLY REFERRING TO THE INFAMOUS NITHARI KILLINGS. BUT TILL TODAY MY INNOCENT MIND FAILS TO UNDERSTAND WHY ANISH CALLS ME NITHARI.
  • CR—CLASS REPRESENTATIVE. “ONE WHO CO-ORDINATES THE ACTIVITIES IN THE CLASS AND REPRESENTS IT INFRONT OF THE TEACHERS”. CONSIDERING AJESH IS OUR CR, WE CAN SURMISE WHAT KIND OF A PERSON THE CR ACTUALLY IS.
  • MAMTA—ACTUALLY MEANS MOTHERLY LOVE. BUT WITH PEOPLE LIKE AJESH AROUND, ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN. SO WATCH OUT BEFORE YOU SPEAK HINDI!
  • THE LANGUAGE OF THE ABOVE MENTIONED INCIDENT IS VERY COARSE. READERS’ DISCRETION IS ADVISED. LANGUAGE PURISTS PLEASE STAY OUT OTHERWISE I WILL HAVE TO APPLY MY LOGIC ON YOU ALL.
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